Memorial Day Travel Series – Tip #7: Stay Together
Stan thinks his family’s idea of flying apart is stupid. I’ve allowed readers to post comments below. Let me know what you think, or if you’ve heard of weirder travel tips.
THE FAMILY THAT FLIES APART, STAYS TOGETHER… AND OTHER STRANGE TRAVEL IDEAS
People have all sorts of strange notions when it comes to traveling, and flying in particular.
Recently my mother mentioned that a cousin of mine was coming to visit with his wife and three small children.
“When are they coming?” I asked.
“They’re arriving on two different flights,” my mother answered. “They always do that. In case something happens to one plane, they don’t lose the whole family.”
“So they split up the kids?” I asked.
“No, the kids want to fly together, so they come with one parent, and the other parent flies on another plane.”
I looked skeptical.
“Lots of people do that,” she said, and paused. “It’s a good idea.”
No, actually this is something that sounds like a good, smart, prudent idea, but is really a ridiculous idea on so-ooo many levels. Let’s count ’em!
- Logistically, it means spending extra hours going to, and waiting at, both airports.
- The chance of delays and cancellations means that one party may arrive hours, if not a day or more, ahead of the other.
- One parent has to control all the kids, who are probably anxious due to the fact that the other parent is absent.
- Assuming the whole family wants to depart and arrive close to the same time, you’ll have less flexibility when booking the flights, so chances are, they’ll cost more.
- As for if the rationale for splitting up if something “happens” to one plane — let’s call the plane with the mother and children the “primary” plane, and the one with poor ol’ dad, the “secondary” one. If the “primary” plane crashes, all that’s left is dad. That’s not the remains of a family. That’s one sad guy, now a widower, sans family. Kind of negates the purpose of the split-up. If the “secondary” plane crashes, well, now the kids are left without a father they would’ve had if they’d all stayed together. The family is actually doubling the odds that something tragic will happen to them.
Plane travel is way-yyy safer than traveling by car. Does the family take two cars every time they take an excursion? I would venture they don’t. Yet there’s a much greater chance of an accident occurring in the car than in the sky.
So, yes, this is a stupid thing to do, and it got me to thinking about other offbeat and peculiar ideas people have about traveling, and the things that they do in order to be safe, more comfortable, to save money, etc. Some of these ideas may indeed be smart, but the more entertaining ones are the ones that are half-baked.
Either way, they’re a great source of material. Ask your friends and co-workers what “tips” they have for traveling. There’s a great chance you’ll find fodder for a fun piece.
[About the Author: Stan Sinberg is an award-winning humor columnist. His travel pieces have appeared in publications ranging from the Chicago Tribune to South America Explorer to the St. Petersburg Times. He was also a satirical radio commentator on San Francisco’s “World Class Rock” station, KFOG, and co-creator of the long-running musical-comedy revue, “For Whom the Bridge Tolls.” Today Stan freelances for many humor publications, including MAD.
So what do you think?]
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